When we focus exclusively on the problems our brother has caused us then there is no time to come up with solutions much less act upon them. We could spend an eternity just listing the wrongs our brother has done to us.
This is how we justify rejecting our brother, how we justify denying love to the one who is closest to us: By focusing on the list of wrongs and not focusing on our brother. We can only focus on the wrongs done to us or our brother, not both, so we have to make a choice.
Any problem we try to solve implies movement away from the problem toward the solution. It implies moving in a new direction.
talk from my pillow 